Have you ever been at the grocery store, post office, or some waiting room, and there’s a kid screaming and crying, and totally losing it on the floor? Basically all of us right? Maybe it was even your child!
Have you ever seen such a thing and instead of being annoyed, thought:
“I know, kid. Welcome to life.”
I think that we never really grow out of those feelings of hopelessness and futility. We just know how to handle them better.
Or do we?
How many times have you pushed down difficult emotions, only to have them pop back up as a wicked pain in your head or stomach? Once a week? Once a day? More?
We were just told to grow up, but maybe not how to actually manage life coming at us. Or how to manage when we really don’t feel like a grown-up.
The next time you experience a difficult emotion like anger, frustration, or annoyance (or like you just don’t wanna!!!), try this:
- Stop! Recognize that you feel off. Give it a name. What is the feeling?
- Put your hand on your heart, take a series of three long, slow, deep breaths in and out. Just focus on those three breaths.
- Say to yourself (in your mind or aloud, depending on the situation) “Even though I feel (name the feeling), I love and accept myself (I don’t care if you think it’s weird, just do it!).
- Ask yourself: “What do I need to support myself now?” For example, are you hangry? Tired? Too much screen time? Literally ask yourself this question silently or aloud. Listen to the first idea that pops up. Then take appropriate action.
This process is so simple, and obvious seeming, but in the moment it can really diffuse a grown-up tantrum.
I hope this was helpful!
Love love, Alexa.